Gossip

My (male) friend Sami came to visit last night, to check out what it’s like to live in the countryside. (I think he mostly just realized that living in the countryside means longer train times.) Anyway, this morning we went to the train station together so he could get back to civilization.

On our way, a woman from my Board of Education (BoE) drives up behind us. I gesture for her to pass us, thinking that she's stopping because we are in the way. As she slowly passes us she says one thing. What was it? Was it "ohayogozaimasu" (good morning) or "hello”? No. It was "boyfurendo?". That’s all. She just wanted to see if the male foreigner I was with was my boyfriend. I responded with "Iie, tomodachi" (no, friend) and she finally drove away.

I understand that a person’s relationship status is interesting, but in Japan there is this strange rule, that while this woman, who likely knows the rules of politeness inside and out and is in her mid-late 50s, can call out into the street to see if I’m with my boyfriend. This would NEVER happen to a Japanese person. I have staff members that I’ve known for a year and see weekly, but don’t know if they are married and would never consider asking if they were because it’s considered rude. From my teenage students, this wouldn’t bother me as much, but this woman should know better.

Seeking out a juicy piece of gossip about the foreigner breaks all the rules of politeness. In the words of the ALT on the other side of my town “I’m beginning to think it IS all that matters, what with my girls telling me that I am OBVIOUSLY lying and OBVIOUSLY I have a boyfriend (why this I have no idea) and Mr Yamada’s repeated attempts to convince me that Sakai is a perfectly eligible man at ONLY 18 years my senior. …but in the meantime you can rest assured news of your “friend” will probably be spread through the BoE like wildfire.”

Sigh. Japan, you're great, but you drive me crazy.